Category: Home

…And Then I Bought Something.

Stefanie Snider

A friend of mine linked me to this article on Cracked:5 People on Etsy Who Are Clearly Serial Killers. It features some…questionable objects: dead animal faces. Teeth from an asylum. A jar covered in what the seller insists is human flesh.

I read the article. I cringed. I laughed. And then I bought something.

164505_v1

She’s photographed, according to Pamela Klaffke, the photographer, “with a holga cfn 120mm toy camera, using expired film”.

She’s a little eerie, but I love her. (Or maybe that’s WHY I love her?) There’s a certain dreamy quality to the print, an almost-Instagram-except-way-better distortion. She struck me when I saw her, and I had to have her.

I have a feeling, though, that she might be coming to live in my office with me. The office is where C makes me house all the weird shit he doesn’t like looking at (though why he doesn’t want anatomical drawings and stuffed elk heads* wearing tiaras in the rest of the house is beyond me).

Go check out the other critters in Klaffke’s collection (because, seriously, who doesn’t need a scary Hanukkah fox child in their lives? Or click here for the rest of the Cracked article.

(screen grab via Cracked, photo featured copyright Pamela Klaffke)

*(Relax, vegans: this is the head in question.)

The Further Domestication of One Mrs. Snider

Stefanie Snider

I was baking cookies last night (because yesterday was Saturday and Saturdays are for baking) and managed to spill cinnamon everywhere, including all over my pants. Sexy. I figured it’s about time I do something about this whole wearing-what-I’m-cooking thing.

I just bought the most adorable apron:

il_570xN.189440541

Look at how cute that is! I’m 100% certain it will make my already-stellar baking taste even better. I mean, seriously. How could it not?

(photo belongs to Etsy seller Boojiboo, who stocks the cutest vintage-inspired aprons I have ever seen, including this horror movie piece.)

PS – Honourable mention goes to @falconjockey on Twitter for suggesting a Darth Vader apron, though my tastes run a little more to Fifties Housewife than Dark Space Lord.

Post-Christmas Reveal!

Stefanie Snider

I hope you all had a fantastic winter holiday of your choosing.

Us Sniders (past, present, and honorary) gathered at my in-laws’ yesterday for Christmas dinner. C and I brought gifts for the kids — “kids” in this sense including his 15-year-old little sister. Which worked out well, considering that when I saw a certain pattern I knew I had to knit it for her.

dmscarf1

She’s a Harry Potter nut — she knows everything, and I mean everything about the series. Her favourite House is Gryffindor, hence the colours. But she’s not 100% pro-good-guy: she mentioned a while ago that she wanted a Dark Mark tattoo.

Which brings us to the best part:

dmscarf2

dmscarf3

Illusion knitting uses strategic knits and purls to create peaks and valleys that, when viewed on an angle, reveal a picture. It was a ton of fun to knit, and I think she really liked it (“You could knit for me next Christmas” is probably the most enthusiasm you’ll get from a teenager).

The pattern information is here; it’s free with a free Ravelry membership. If you make one, let me know! I’d love to see other versions.

Oh, and of course I made my father-in-law’s favourite ginger-molasses cookies, because there is nothing worse than seeing a grown man cry.

gingercookies

Have a great day everyone!

That Whole “Balance” Thing

Stefanie Snider

5136926303_a3d0bb0767

Here we go again.

I haven’t written anything in a few days. Scratch that, it might be approaching two weeks at this point. Two weeks without fiction or journalling. Two weeks of barely even maintaining my planner. Two weeks may not seem like much, but two whole weeks without creating anything is like drowning. Not only does it feel awful, but with every day that slips by it gets harder and harder to get started again.

It’s not even a block, not really. It’s… an absence. Whole days pass without even the inkling to pick up a pen or to open a text program.

Bizarrely, I’ve been super productive lately in other areas. I’ve been baking up a storm, knitting a very secret Christmas gift, deep cleaning and streamlining the house. But the more I seem to get done in my day-to-day life, the more it seems my career is suffering. It’s completely unacceptable.

I’ve decided that enough is enough. One whole year of my five-year career plan has slipped by, and I’m not where I thought I would be. I’m not where I need to be. But today starts a new month. I’m considering December a practice run before the new year kicks in.

In four years I don’t want to look back and realize I let myself down.

This is it.

(photo by Colin Harris)

SniderBaker

Stefanie Snider


I made these tonight using this recipe, which is super easy and remarkably tasty. If you’ve never made bread before, start here!

It Pays to Be Nice.

Stefanie Snider

I like to think karma works.

I went to Michael’s today; I had a 40%-off coupon that was ready to expire. I found myself wandering the aisles: knitting needles? Canvas? Frames? This isn’t my regular Michael’s (God help me, I have a “regular”), so when I stumbled across the clearance section it was a surprise.

They had these fantastic stretched-canvas prints, regularly $34, on for $10. C and I were just talking about adding some new decorations to the house, so it was perfect timing. I found a great little piece for the kitchen:

We tend to seek happiness

when happiness is actually a choice

Since it was on clearance, I couldn’t use my coupon, which expires tomorrow. So on my way to the checkout, I offered it to a couple of women who were still shopping. It made me feel nice, and that alone would have made my afternoon a little brighter.

But.

I got to the checkout and the cashier scanned the canvas. “That’ll be one cent.”

“Pardon?”

She turned the screen so I could see it. “One cent.”

I asked her a couple of times if that was right. She even re-scanned it, just in case. It came up the same every time.

The funny bit is that I never carry cash, and I literally had no money on me. I had to ask her to tuck it behind the register and hold it while I went to rummage through the car.

I got back inside and waited in line again, already getting the sinking feeling that the other cashier had probably spoken up after I left. Would I bother to argue if she quoted me the ten-dollar price I’d expected?

I approached the till. The cashier had a big smile by this point. “One cent, please.”

I plopped a single penny in her palm, and she handed me my receipt.

I like to think it was good karma for doing a small kindness for someone. The new picture looks great under the martini in the kitchen…

…and now when I look at it I’ll smile, since it comes with its own story.

Bonus ZoeyBomb:

PS – When she handed me the receipt, the register had printed another 40%-off coupon. Double score!

Domestic Little Weekend

Stefanie Snider

This weekend was exactly what I needed. The week was exhausting, and stressful, and I still feel like the whole week flew by without my getting anything done. By the time Friday night rolled around all I felt like doing was hanging out under blankets and reading. So I did. Saturday we meant to go to the movies, but by the time C finished work neither of us was in the mood. So we had a nice dinner out, then bought movies and snuggled up on the couch. Today I went to a book sale with my mom, and out for brunch.

Then I spent the afternoon cleaning, and reorganizing, and reading the Young House Love blog. It’s time to get the house ready to be closed up all winter, to fill it with yummy smells and baking bread and rich, heavy meals. It’s the time when I start reading cooking and decorating blogs and making plans to cozy up the place. As much as I hate winter, it gives me a great excuse to just be comfortable at home.

This winter I think we’ll finally get around to redoing the living room floor. I want to get C’s blanket finished. I want to master this whole Crock-Pot thing and spend more time making good food.

The outside world is getting faster and harder and, frankly, meaner as time goes on, but that only means that home is more important than ever. So if you need me, I’ll be here: reading and knitting and working on my writing career. Working on what matters, what makes me happy.

Attack of the Killer Carpet Monster

Stefanie Snider

I had trouble sleeping again last night. After tossing and turning, shutting the light off, then on, then reading, then lying quietly with my eyes closed, I gave up and decided to get a glass of water.

I went down to the kitchen and flipped on the light.

An impossibly huge carpet monster fell off the wall.

What’s a carpet monster, you say? One of these little bastards, so dubbed in our home due to the fact that they blend perfectly with our carpet, so you could be walking within inches of one and never even know:

Ew ew ew ew EW EW EW.

It would’ve startled you, too, something furry flopping onto the floor then running straight at you. I screamed like an impossibly sissy girl and ran in a rough circle, trying to scare the thing the way it had scared me so it would run away and not touch my feet with its horrible, horrible legs.

It moved like lightning on crack. I was getting ready to propel myself ass-first up onto the counter when it zoomed past, waving at me with its million legs, and hid under the fridge. I was alternately paralyzed with horror and…well. You should know this about me: when I am overtired, like really, really sleep deprived, I get the giggles. The smallest, unfunniest thing will make me laugh until I cry and choke on my own saliva. It’s so sexy, you don’t even know.

So here I am, backed against the counter, and it occurs to me how silly I’m being, and my brain knows this but my body doesn’t give a shit what my brain has to say and I am completely unable to move. I’m stuck there, laughing and shrieking and finally C comes in to check whether I have completely lost my mind.

I manage to cross the room and perch on a bar stool, feet tucked up under me so the thing can’t get them.

C says, “I gotta see this thing.” And what does he do? He gets down on the floor in front of the fridge and tries to lure it out.

The whole time, I’m gigglescreaming uncontrollably and panicking that it’s going to get on him and he’s poking around under there with his bare hands and the whole scene was just not cool.

He never did find it. And I don’t think he believed me when I told him it was the size of a mouse.

To be fair, a house centipede isn’t dangerous. They’re supposedly helpful and eat other bugs or some shit. I don’t care. What I care about is that there’s an unholy creature with a billion legs made of pure hatred running around this house and IT’S ABLE TO CLIMB WALLS. Which means IT COULD FALL ON ME. And EAT MY BRAIN. Totally unacceptable.

(image source)

Attention Creepy Kids: Only Two Months Till Halloween!

Stefanie Snider

Fall is almost here. I’ve noticed a couple trees already losing their leaves, and when it gets chilly at night it just feels like Fall.

I get so excited and happy at this time of year. It’s time to start fantasizing about homemade bread. And cider. And warm cozy sweaters.

And, the best holiday of the year: Halloween.

Soon AMC and TCM start airing classic horror. Closer to October, you can flip on the tv and find an old horror any night of the week. Yes, I know you can get all-horror channels now, but it’s just not the same.

I’ll wait until probably mid-September to get into full Halloween mode, but just knowing it’s coming makes this little horror nerd very happy indeed.

This is the Bride of Frankenstein candle holder from Bath & Body Works. I picked her up during a shopping trip with my mom WHO IS A VERY BAD INFLUENCE, by the way…
“I don’t need this. I won’t burn a candle in it.”
“You can…use it to hold your pencils!”

…she really is cute though. She will hold my pencils nicely, all year round.