Resolutions. Or Not.

I’ve been thinking about resolutions all day (which is to say on commercial breaks and while driving to Chapters only to find that THE INTERNET LIED and they weren’t open after all, dammit). I feel like this is a big year, for some reason, Mayan bullshit excepted.

So, some things:

I want to waste less: time, energy, money, mental space taken up by stupid shit that doesn’t matter.

I want to make more: to write and publish more, finish up some knitting projects, and bake every week.

I want to read more: I thought about setting a “goal” number, 52 books this year? 100? but that takes the joy out of reading. So, just more.

I want to strengthen my relationships with the people who matter most to me, and to let go of those who suck the life out of me.

I don’t know if these are resolutions, in the traditional New Year’s sense, because they’re all things I’ve been working on lately anyway. But at the same time, these are all important to me, and sharpening my focus on them only helps me get where I want to be. So, there you have it.

What are your goals this year?

That Whole “Balance” Thing

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Here we go again.

I haven’t written anything in a few days. Scratch that, it might be approaching two weeks at this point. Two weeks without fiction or journalling. Two weeks of barely even maintaining my planner. Two weeks may not seem like much, but two whole weeks without creating anything is like drowning. Not only does it feel awful, but with every day that slips by it gets harder and harder to get started again.

It’s not even a block, not really. It’s… an absence. Whole days pass without even the inkling to pick up a pen or to open a text program.

Bizarrely, I’ve been super productive lately in other areas. I’ve been baking up a storm, knitting a very secret Christmas gift, deep cleaning and streamlining the house. But the more I seem to get done in my day-to-day life, the more it seems my career is suffering. It’s completely unacceptable.

I’ve decided that enough is enough. One whole year of my five-year career plan has slipped by, and I’m not where I thought I would be. I’m not where I need to be. But today starts a new month. I’m considering December a practice run before the new year kicks in.

In four years I don’t want to look back and realize I let myself down.

This is it.

(photo by Colin Harris)