That Whole “Balance” Thing

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Here we go again.

I haven’t written anything in a few days. Scratch that, it might be approaching two weeks at this point. Two weeks without fiction or journalling. Two weeks of barely even maintaining my planner. Two weeks may not seem like much, but two whole weeks without creating anything is like drowning. Not only does it feel awful, but with every day that slips by it gets harder and harder to get started again.

It’s not even a block, not really. It’s… an absence. Whole days pass without even the inkling to pick up a pen or to open a text program.

Bizarrely, I’ve been super productive lately in other areas. I’ve been baking up a storm, knitting a very secret Christmas gift, deep cleaning and streamlining the house. But the more I seem to get done in my day-to-day life, the more it seems my career is suffering. It’s completely unacceptable.

I’ve decided that enough is enough. One whole year of my five-year career plan has slipped by, and I’m not where I thought I would be. I’m not where I need to be. But today starts a new month. I’m considering December a practice run before the new year kicks in.

In four years I don’t want to look back and realize I let myself down.

This is it.

(photo by Colin Harris)

3 thoughts on “That Whole “Balance” Thing

  • Whatever you have that needs to be heard is profound enough to cause the kind of fear that would keep you—a writer!—from writing. It will never go away until you write it. Then another challenge will come sometime. That’s why I love writing and why I love writers, because we give ourselves a voice to be heard.
    “Bizarrely, I’ve been super productive lately…” made you feel okay about not writing that day, didn’t it? For that day.
    You’re absolutely amazing, Stefanie! You have faced ten incredible emotional challenges (counting your work on my right). No one who doesn’t write can possibly understand what we do; how difficult and terrifying it is to bare our souls to ourselves to tell our stories.
    I understand completely. Take it easy and sit down at your station next time instead of baking and write three word; “Whenever you’re ready.”
    The go do some guilt-free knitting. ; )
    I’m glad I stumble across your work. I look forward to reading some of this material you have amassed.

    ~CC~

    • Wow, what a thoughtful response! Thank you!

      You’re absolutely right — I’ve been making excuses as to why it was “okay” not to write on those days. But those things, as fun as they are, don’t give me the same fulfillment. You really hit home with that point, and I thank you.

      It’s nice to know there are still kind people out there. Thank you so much for your comments!

      • Thank you for giving another writer a chance to self-reflect. We all share the danger of succumbing to that fatal phenomenon and fading away; never writing again—I did for nearly a decade. So your words were well received here.
        I look forward to reading your material. Have a great holiday season.

        ~CC~

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