It’s “Only” $225

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I have notoriously expensive taste.

When we went shopping for my engagement ring, I knew nothing about diamonds. I simply went to the case, pointed at a pretty, and the nice lady behind the counter let me try it on. It was lovely. It was $10,000. It went back in the case.

I have a fetish for purses. A big one. Show me a well-crafted bag and I get the sweats. Drop me into any Winners store, leave me for five minutes, and I’ll home in on the most expensive bag there, which of course will be crazily above my budget and will have to be left behind. It’s a gift, and a curse.

So then I found the keychain above. I spend a lot of time online (give me the interaction of the internet over cable any day), and followed a link to a link to a link til I ended up seeing the above picture. He’s so cute! Lookit his little articulated limbs! I need him, and more than that I think I feel the beginning of infatuation. He’s perfect. So I click the little picture and goddamnit he’s by Alexander McQueen and costs TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS.

I guess his virtual presence will have to suffice.

(If you have a bajillion dollars to blow, find him here, which is also where I snagged the photo.)

This Week in Sniderville: 11

This week:

Spring finally arrived! This is the sunset at 7:53 PM last Sunday. Almost eight, and still light out!
sniderwritersunsetAhh, gorgeous. I love this time of year.

My trial order of buttons came in! They look so good!
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I went for all-you-can-eat sushi today with my coworkers. SO! MUCH! FOOD! I tried salmon roe and tempura bananas and fried pudding. Yup, that’s a thing. And it’s delicious!

Apparently I like to use exclamation points! when I am excited! Somebody stop me!

I watched a ton of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. The man was a genius. (!)

Also, as someone whose house is ruled by cats, I couldn’t help but share this:

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 10

This week:

I bought a new purse: black faux-leather with giant fuck-off studs covering the bottom. If I ever swing it old-lady-style at a would-be mugger, there’s gonna be some damage. This pleases me.

I realized that few things make me as irrationally enraged as door-to-door salesmen who try to trick me into opening my door with a “shave and a haircut” knock. Same guy three days in a row. ONCE WHILE I WAS NAPPING. I was the cartoon bull with steam coming out of my nostrils. No one, and I mean no one, messes with my naps. It gets ugly.

I picked up a five-year journal at Chapters, because I realized there are so many firsts in my writing career that I want to record. Like my first 5-star review! I have so many plans for my career, and I think it will be neat to compare what’s happening this year to what happens the next, and the next…

I made SniderWriter buttons:
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Click here if you want one.

Pretty chill, quietly satisfying.

How was your week?

This Takes “Who Are You Wearing?” to a Whole New Level.

“Australian Israeli-born and currently Iceland-based conceptual jeweler Sruli Recht…recently had a roughly 1/2″ by 4″ strip of skin cut off his belly which was then tanned and wrapped around a 24k gold ring, now being offered for a half million dollars. The somewhat grotesque design doesn’t just look like random leather — it’s even got wiry belly hair. He calls it the ‘Forget Me Knot’.” – news.bme.com

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Just when I think I can’t be shocked anymore, Modblog ups the ante. Click here to continue reading about the artist’s skin-removal procedure, which, refreshingly, was performed by a doctor instead of staff at a tattoo shop. There are photos and a video, too, if you’re finished breakfast.

It wouldn’t be so bad without the hairs. The hairs make me throw up in my mouth a little.

The Further Domestication of One Mrs. Snider

I was baking cookies last night (because yesterday was Saturday and Saturdays are for baking) and managed to spill cinnamon everywhere, including all over my pants. Sexy. I figured it’s about time I do something about this whole wearing-what-I’m-cooking thing.

I just bought the most adorable apron:

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Look at how cute that is! I’m 100% certain it will make my already-stellar baking taste even better. I mean, seriously. How could it not?

(photo belongs to Etsy seller Boojiboo, who stocks the cutest vintage-inspired aprons I have ever seen, including this horror movie piece.)

PS – Honourable mention goes to @falconjockey on Twitter for suggesting a Darth Vader apron, though my tastes run a little more to Fifties Housewife than Dark Space Lord.

Super-Last-Minute Holiday Knitting Patterns

I FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS KNITTING!!!

Ohhhhh yeahhhh, that feels nice.

It’s a tradition of mine to make presents that are much more complicated/time-consuming/difficult than they ought to be, and then to procrastinate, which usually means panicked Christmas Eve crafting and cursing. I always pull it out at the end, but there’s always that awful feeling of what if.

Not this year.

I can’t talk about it yet, or post pictures, because my family reads my blog, but trust me: IT RULES. Pics to follow after Christmas.

In the meantime, if you’re panicked and looking for something last-minute to knit, check out these patterns:

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And if you’re really pressed for time:

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pattern

I made a tiny sweater once. It only took an afternoon, and came out really cute:
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You’ve got two full days to finish your shit. You got this.