This Week in Sniderville: 20

I am beat.

I had the most pleasantly productive week! A quick rundown, since it’s Saturday night and this is a long weekend and I got shit to do:

I wrote an entire short story, from scratch, front to back, in one three hour sitting this week. I’ve never written so much so quickly in my life. It’s still in its rough stage, of course, but still… I was riding high after that one. Expect it soon!

I’ve been on a mad “homeowner” kick: rearranging our family budget to reach our financial goals for the next house, and doing lots of little things around our current house in the meantime. I’m planning on using a chunk of my upcoming vacation to paint the front porch, and I stayed home today to “putter around the house”, which makes me feel old. But you know what? I’m loving how things are coming together.

We donated a ton of old clothes, talked over our Big Plan for the next few years, and next we’ll start the conversion of our front bedroom from ill-used waste of space into our dressing room. I’m just a tad excited.

I swear there was more, but between the fireworks outside and the cool breeze and the siren song of the alcohol in the kitchen, I’m feeling a tad distracted.

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 19

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The cilantro babies are coming in nicely. And actually starting to, y’know, look like cilantro. I mean, I ate one before I was sure, just because I was curious, and it tasted right but looked so, so wrong. I have no idea what I’m doing. But I do know that every time I water them, I whisper sweet nothings about how I’m going to murder them and eat them. Plants like that kinda thing, right?

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This is Zoey. This is what she does all day. This is why she’s fat.

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Today I went to my nephew’s third birthday party, where I spent a good deal of time “tattooing” children. (The one above is on me — can’t let kids have all the fun.) Clearly Auntie Stef is a total badass.

Writing is happening, but there’s nothing new to report. Next week, maybe? God, I hope I have something ready to share soon.

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 16

So. Long time no see. I’ve been working on a very cool idea with my writing. I don’t want to say too much yet, but if it goes according to plan I’ll have a full-length, dead-tree book for sale before the end of this year. Cross your fingers for me?

Otherwise, I spent this week doing house-y things: reorganized the bathroom, tended my new plants, did a bunch of cleaning I’ve been meaning to get to. It was our second anniversary, and my wonderful husband surprised me: he gave away his shift so he could stay home scrubbing our back deck and getting it ready for summer.

(Which went like this:
We park behind our place. So I pull in after work, expecting an empty house, and instead find our deck chairs all over the back lawn. From my vantage I couldn’t see the deck they came from, so of course my overactive imagination decides there are weird strangers who’ve decided to throw themselves an impromptu Thursday-afternoon party at our house when we’re not home. I gave myself the willies in a matter of seconds, thinking I’m going to get out of the car, turn around, and get murdered by vagabonds. Nope, just Dude, pleased as punch that he managed not to let word of his little plan slip. It took me a minute to relax enough to be appropriately appreciative.)

We’ve decided to dress up the deck; we’ve lived here for ten years now and have never really used that space. So we planned, and we planned, and today we went comparison shopping for outdoor furniture and completely changed our minds. Gone are thoughts of dining-style tables, in are thoughts of low-slung couches. We left almost empty handed (solar lights and hose trigger notwithstanding) and came home to plan some more. No deck-warming barbecues any time soon, kids.

AND in keeping with this week’s theme, my lovely Mom bought us a very special anniversary present. A baker’s dream come true. WHO’S GOT A RED KITCHENAID MIXER? I DO. (I mean we. We do.) So much more bread will be made and eaten in this house now.

It’s funny, how we’ve lived here this long and it’s never really felt like home. But we’re getting there.

We’re getting there.

How was your week?

This (Last) Week in Sniderville: 14

I decided last week I’d move the Sniderville posts to Sunday, to better incorporate Saturday’s goings-on. A full week, if you will. I don’t think I like it. It messes with my title (what week is this, exactly?)
Back to Saturday next week.

Hmm. So, what went on this week…

Sunday was Mother’s Day, of course, and I took my beloved Mom out for lunch.

We went to our Thai haunt, and it was delicious as always. We’d gone to the flea market, also, per her request, and I ate fantastic creme brulee. Everything was going so well, until suddenly it wasn’t. Something I ate didn’t enjoy being part of my person, and long story short I cut out to go home and lay in my bed whimpering and trying not to die. Some Mother’s Day. I love you, Mom.

I went out to Target to buy the cats some furniture.
Yep, you read that right. We’d had a box of cardboard by the back door, destined to go out for recycling, but it was commandeered by the cats. Turns out it was at a good level for squirrel watching, and since we’re exceedingly indulgent we let it stay. For months. Finally I decided this was ridiculous, and set out to buy them a little bench to sit on. An awkward conversation with the Target clerk* and $100 later, I have never felt like such a cat lady in my life.

jadie benchWorth it.

 

I discovered that the groundhogs who live in our backyard had babies.
I’ve tried to get pictures, but the mama is understandably protective and won’t let me too close. There are two adults and at least two babies, and they’ve made an elaborate series of hidey-holes in the neighbourhood backyards. C has taken it as an excuse to let the grass grow on our little hill, since they’ve built a burrow inside. I’m just waiting for one of us to snap an ankle in the hole.

I published a new horror story.(Click here for a preview)
Honestly? I think this may be my favourite yet. A little more suspenseful than the others, with a definite wallop of gross.

How was your week?

*“Oh, looks like all we have left is the one on the shelf. I can check in the back for you; sometimes the ones on the floor get a little scuffed up.”
“No, thanks, that’s okay. It’s just for my cats, anyway.”
“For your…”
“Cats? For them to sit on?”
“Oh. O…kay. I hope they…like it?”

This Week in Sniderville: 13

This week I:

– worked on a new story. This one’s about dire diner consequences, and what happens when you don’t clean your plate.

– planned out a back-deck overhaul, spending way too much time browsing decorating sites, until I subconsciously started colour-coding my desk:
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– went to The Early Bird, which is quickly becoming my favourite place on Earth. By day, it’s a kickass rock diner:
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…by night it’s a crushed-velvet leopard-printed rock bar. They have a sandwich called the Fat Elvis: French toast layered with peanut butter, bacon, and deep fried bananas. Best heart attack food ever. I bumped into the lovely Chef Chainsaw outside (she’ll have her own post later.)

– went to a house party, had a fantastic time, succeeded in not peeing my pants from laughing so hard. It’s the minor victories in life, really.

– went thrifting with my Dude, something we haven’t done in a long time. The store has mannequins now…
sv13 5…I was a little afraid to turn my back on this one. I’m pretty sure his hand was molded like that so he could hold a shiv.

Now I’m off to craft some creepy words and search for stock images of questionable meat. I love my life!

How was your week?

 

This Week in Sniderville: 12

The Balut Incident

I like to think I’m adventurous. I like to think I’m always up for a new challenge, to push my limits and try new things.

Sometimes that gets me in trouble.

Like when a coworker and I were talking about all the weird and wonderful exotic foods we’d be willing to try, and balut came up.

What’s balut? A fertilized duck egg. Big deal, right? We eat eggs all the time. Except the eggs in the grocery store are just eggs: dormant, neutral, never ever going to be anything else. Fertilized eggs, well…

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…they start to develop baby birds.

Squishy, chewy baby birds. Considered a delicacy in places like the Philippines and eaten intact: feathers, beak, and all.

Eaten on Fear Factor in North America.

The next day another coworker happened to bring them in and ate them while the rest of us gathered, horrified, and watched. First Coworker heard about it afterwards and was disappointed he’d missed out. Promises were made for more balut to be obtained, and the next thing you know somehow I had agreed to join in.

I talk a big talk.

Tuesday came, “Egg Day”, and I started having second thoughts. Big, feathery, crunchy thoughts. But I said I’d do it. I tried to quiet my rolling stomach. I didn’t manage breakfast.

I sauntered into DayJob, full of machismo.
Oh, the egg is here? Cool, yeah, I’m totally down. Pffft, it’s just an egg.

And I sat, and I tried to concentrate on my work, and I thought way too long and hard about textures and the probable unpleasantness thereof, and…

I — if you’ll pardon the expression — chickened out. I hadn’t even said I’d eat the thing, just that I’d stuff it in my mouth, but even that was too much. I thought about going through with it anyway; I thought about vomiting in front of my coworkers. Eventually I had to admit defeat and watch as Second Coworker fulfilled his end of the deal and chowed down, proclaiming it “Good” and worthy of eating again.

I have no shame, and I still have my stomach inside where it belongs.

How was your week?

(photo by laurababycake on Instagram)

This Week in Sniderville: 11

This week:

Spring finally arrived! This is the sunset at 7:53 PM last Sunday. Almost eight, and still light out!
sniderwritersunsetAhh, gorgeous. I love this time of year.

My trial order of buttons came in! They look so good!
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I went for all-you-can-eat sushi today with my coworkers. SO! MUCH! FOOD! I tried salmon roe and tempura bananas and fried pudding. Yup, that’s a thing. And it’s delicious!

Apparently I like to use exclamation points! when I am excited! Somebody stop me!

I watched a ton of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. The man was a genius. (!)

Also, as someone whose house is ruled by cats, I couldn’t help but share this:

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 10

This week:

I bought a new purse: black faux-leather with giant fuck-off studs covering the bottom. If I ever swing it old-lady-style at a would-be mugger, there’s gonna be some damage. This pleases me.

I realized that few things make me as irrationally enraged as door-to-door salesmen who try to trick me into opening my door with a “shave and a haircut” knock. Same guy three days in a row. ONCE WHILE I WAS NAPPING. I was the cartoon bull with steam coming out of my nostrils. No one, and I mean no one, messes with my naps. It gets ugly.

I picked up a five-year journal at Chapters, because I realized there are so many firsts in my writing career that I want to record. Like my first 5-star review! I have so many plans for my career, and I think it will be neat to compare what’s happening this year to what happens the next, and the next…

I made SniderWriter buttons:
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Click here if you want one.

Pretty chill, quietly satisfying.

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 9

I’m not a virgin anymore!

Last night I went to a special screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show, hosted by…PATRICIA QUINN! It was part of Shock Stock, an annual local horror convention.

I bought my tickets online, thinking how AMAZING it would be to watch RHPS with Magenta herself, and brought a friend along for the midnight screening. What they didn’t tell me on the website was that not only was Magenta there, but so was a live shadow cast! I got rained on, I got rice in my hair, and I fulfilled my decade-long dream of seeing Rocky live! My face hurt all night from smiling so hard.

Patricia was lovely during the Q&A, genuinely funny and sweet. When someone in the audience asked for advice for aspiring actors, Ms Quinn looked her dead in the eye and said “Don’t dream it, be it.” I may have teared up a bit.

I wasn’t allowed to take pictures, and I didn’t get to keep my ticket stub. But today, when I attended the convention proper, I got something so much better:

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I’ve never had a fangirl moment like that before. She spoke to me! She knows my name! I managed to carry on an actual conversation, instead of squeaking unintelligibly like I worried I would. I carried the picture into the crowd like it was made of fine gold, because to me it might as well be.

I’ll show off the other stuff I scored at Shock Stock when the light is better. But I couldn’t wait to share this one with you.

How was your week?

This Week in Sniderville: 7

My family rules.

My husband’s Great Aunt Sharon posted the following to her Facebook:
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…with the caption: Little Stephen King reads his 1st story in class — we have a budding Stephen King in our family — Stefanie Snider. I can’t tell you how that made me smile.

Sunday we visited my brother- and sister-in-law, the ones with my adorable nephews. The littlest nephew will be three in June, and has a baby monitor in his room. Turns out that the new monitor my in-laws bought doubles as a two-way speaker. My nephew was chilling in his room when his Mommy picked up the parent-end of the monitor and made the Grudge noise into it: “Aaaahhhh-h-h-ahhhhhh…” Cue the kid flying down the stairs, wide-eyed, and a lesson in silly jokes. Nephew pulled me upstairs to his room, pointed at the monitor, says “Makes a scawy noise, Ahhhhhhhh,” giving me a perfect rendition of the demon-noise from the movie, then giggling. This is how I know I belong in this family.