What I Did This Weekend

I made some satisfying progress my continuing struggle to be an organized person this weekend.

Friday:
– took back library books, early
– finally upgraded my credit card to one with better benefits
– FINALLY changed my name at the bank (after being married a year this past May)
– scheduled another banking appointment to set up some new investments (holy shit! I’m a grownup!)

Saturday:
– bought more storage/organization bins and, y’know, actually used them for their intended purposes
– stocked up on sale pharmacy items AND took advantage of a one-day-only deal for store points

Sunday:
– got up early, bought and assembled a laundry-sorting hamper
– revised my daily to-do’s for this shift
– customized our Quicken program

I feel pretty good about things right now. I didn’t manage to get any writing done, but now that some of these niggling tasks are dealt with I feel like I can get further ahead this week than usual.

Make Something.

Yesterday I was showing my husband the bracelet I made (and by “made”, I mean I savaged* a store-bought bracelet and added an evil eye bead). Part of the modifications involved bending a head pin. I did a…passable…job, for a first-timer.

He asked why I don’t just ask our chain-mail-making friend to do it for me.

Because it’s better to make your own stuff, is why.

There’s nothing nicer than making something. I don’t know if it’s ancestral memory of when we had to make everything ourselves, or maybe it’s the novelty of handmade in a world of mass-produced. But something about holding something that wouldn’t exist if not for you is wholly satisfying.

Granted, the bracelet I “made” was put together using stock parts, but still, my hand was involved in the final product. I make other things, too: I knit, I bake, I cross-stitch, I paint a teeny tiny bit. Oh, and I write, in case you missed that somehow (!).

Friends and family have seen (and read!) the stuff I’ve made, and the comment is nearly always the same:

“I could never do that.”

Of course you can! I taught myself to knit with YouTube. I learned how to bake bread by making some really shitty bread. I’m learning how to draw right now, and believe me when I say that my drawings suck mightily. But that only means I’m learning.

Do you ever wonder what happens to all the writing I talk about? The daily quota has to go somewhere, right? Some stories don’t come together and get put on hold. Some, frankly, suck ass and get tossed. But I’ve gotten better only by coming back again and again and making something. Every night when I go to bed I want there to be something I made that wasn’t there before. It’s a powerful feeling to leave your mark, however small, on the world every day.

Have you made something recently? Go on, do it: make, bake, saw, sew, glue, paint, grow, make a tremendous mess. Life is too short to be passive. Go create something that’s all yours.

*Yes, I mean “savaged”, not salvaged. I ripped that sucker apart.

Happy Canada Day!

“Canadian Sunset” by Lone Primate on Flickr

I was going to post about the great things Canada does. Our healthcare, our human rights, our diversity. But even if you’ve never been here, you already know all that.

What you may not know is how Canada feels. How wonderful it is that nature is everywhere. How it feels to go anywhere in the world and be welcomed, just for being Canadian. How fortunate we are, as a nation, and how strong our country is.

Canadians are patriotic, but ours is a quiet patriotism. It’s not so much seen in bumper stickers and vocalizations; it’s more the calm contentment of knowing that ours is a wonderful country and that we are lucky to live here. I’m proud to be Canadian.

Happy Canada Day, everyone.

Struggling with Time Management

Confession: I have not written nearly as much lately as I should.

I have a four-year fold out calendar in my Filofax meant to track and chart my daily writing output. This should have been a blog post with a photo of how I’ve set that up, but let’s face it: my output lately has been abysmal, and I don’t want you to see it.

I’ve been busy, sure. It feels like I’ve been running from one thing to the next for weeks. Part of it was working the Dreaded Morning Shift, wherein I start work at six and become human around noon. Part of it was crafty little things that (enjoyably) ate up my time. I have new ideas for new stories churning out of my head all the time but…I haven’t actually gotten anywhere with them.

I think I’m stuck, a little, on where I’m taking this series of stories. I knew where I wanted to go when I started, but the author of those plans feels like a different person. I tell myself it will take a lot more time to write a novel-length work. Of course it will. But I’ve been missing that high of publishing a new short every couple of weeks. Instead I’ve passed the honeymoon phase of this bigger project without readying myself for the long-term.

It sucks. It’s a bitch to have so many things pulling at the hem of my skirt and (what seems like) no time to get them all done. If I want to give my BIG PLAN a chance to succeed, I really need to work out a firm schedule for writing. Not just when I feel I’ve got time, because clearly nothing gets done that way.

I’ll be pulling out my well thumbed (but never finished) copy of Getting Things Done tonight. And I’m thinking about using a 24-hour timetable in my planner. Something’s gotta give if this thing is going to go anywhere.

Writers: when do you write?

Moments in Writing: It’s So Easy to Write a Novel

I was talking to a couple of acquaintances, one of whom is in the process of building a house. Let’s call her…oh hell, it’s late. We’ll call her A. A was exhausted and still had months of work to put in before the house would be complete. Exhausted, she flopped down at the table and sighed. The other one…Z…asked what was the matter.

“Oh, I just have so much work to do. The whole house still needs to be painted.” A’s eyes lit up and she addressed the both of us. “You wanna come paint this weekend?”

I blurted out “No!“, then explained that I had scheduled some novel-writing time that weekend. (Also? There is no chance in hell I’m painting your house.)

She grinned and offered to trade, then said, “Don’t worry, I’m kidding. I can’t write.”

Z jumps in: “But writing a novel would be way easier.”

Wait, what?

“A has to paint the whole house. That would take way longer.”

I sputtered and had nothing to say, which if you know me says a lot. It’s faster to write a novel? Really? Then what the hell is my problem?

For The Millionth Time: We Are Not Having Kids

I don’t see why it’s so difficult for people to understand. We’re not having kids. Period.

If you have kids, that’s great. Honestly. I know tone doesn’t always translate well on the internet, and for that I’m sorry, but believe me when I say that if you’ve always wanted children, you should have them. Enjoy them.

I’m not anti-kid. I have two nephews that I love like crazy, and any future nieces and nephews will also be welcomed with open arms and spoiled rotten. But enjoying kids is not the same as wanting your own.

I know most people mean well. They cherish their own kids, and find fulfillment and purpose in raising them. It saddens them that I’m “missing out”. I appreciate the concern.

Where it gets frustrating is when a simple “nope, not for us” goes unheeded. I’m a woman in my thirties. I’ve had lots and lots of time to think this over, and being female I’ve had lots of heavy encouragement to jump on the parent-wagon. I’ve been in a straight relationship for years; it’s not like we couldn’t have tried for kids, had we wanted them. The simple fact is that we’ve made our decision, and prodding us is irritating, not influential.

Flip it for a second: what would it be like if, instead of congratulating you on your pregnancy, I raised an eyebrow and said, “But what if you change your mind?”

I realize parenting is hard work. I know that parents make sacrifices in order to give the best to their children. If bowing out makes me selfish, then so be it. But my life, our life together, is just plain built differently. We have different goals and ambitions, and enjoy spending our time differently. We have different expectations for the future. We find satisfaction and contentment in other places.

If I wouldn’t force my life on you, why force yours on me?

It’s Our First Anniversary!

unknown artist
One year ago I married my best friend.

We’ve been together for eleven years now, and we knew each other before that, in high school (ask C about how I stalked him). We did a lot of our growing up together, and we get each other. We often joke about how we can’t ever break up now, because we’re the same kind of weird, and we’re ruined for other people.

For example, not everyone would put up with this:

We first started dating when we were both 19. One day we decided to do some cutesy couple stuff together — this was still in the first few weeks, when everything GLITTERS and the very birds SING OF YOUR LOVE. We decided to buy colouring books and crayons. So cute! So quaint! His was Scooby Doo, I think, and let me take a moment to assure you it was the most manly of colouring books in the whole dollar store. Mine was some generic girly thing: unicorns and bunnies and…dolls.

We sat there for a while, colouring away. Looking back, he should have known something was up when I raised my book up on my knees and wouldn’t let him see it. He was busy colouring the Mystery Machine or something, while I…I had other plans.

The time comes that we decide to exchange pictures. (Adorable, right?)
He passes me his, and maybe it had a ghost or a cartoon monster, I don’t remember, but I do remember it was normal.

I began to have second thoughts. Now or never, I think, and I hand him what I had done.

The pretty little ragdoll now had green skin. She had red button eyes, and a bloodied swastika on her forehead, and I had written in my best crayon-held-in-clenched-fist style “I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR” across the top.

He said “Oh. That’s uh, interesting.” Then he took it with pinched finger and thumb and put it on the deck where it couldn’t touch him. But the fact that he stuck around, that I didn’t spook him, was pretty telling. I knew I’d landed a good one, a dude who can put up with my strangeness.

He stuck around, we fell in love, and last year we finally did the City Hall thing.
I honestly couldn’t be happier, and I’m incredibly lucky to have found such a great man.

Love you Dude. xoxoxo