Category Archives: Crafts

The Further Domestication of One Mrs. Snider

I was baking cookies last night (because yesterday was Saturday and Saturdays are for baking) and managed to spill cinnamon everywhere, including all over my pants. Sexy. I figured it’s about time I do something about this whole wearing-what-I’m-cooking thing.

I just bought the most adorable apron:

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Look at how cute that is! I’m 100% certain it will make my already-stellar baking taste even better. I mean, seriously. How could it not?

(photo belongs to Etsy seller Boojiboo, who stocks the cutest vintage-inspired aprons I have ever seen, including this horror movie piece.)

PS – Honourable mention goes to @falconjockey on Twitter for suggesting a Darth Vader apron, though my tastes run a little more to Fifties Housewife than Dark Space Lord.


These Are Cupcakes.

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I’ll take mine with extra blood, please.


Crafty Sunday: Stephen King Embroidery

carrie by starlie geikie
Starlie Geikie, Carrie, 2004
Wool thread, embroidery canvas
6 3/4″ x 4 3/4″

source

stephen king quote(one of my favourite King quotes! – SS)
source

shining twins embroidery
source


Super-Last-Minute Holiday Knitting Patterns

I FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS KNITTING!!!

Ohhhhh yeahhhh, that feels nice.

It’s a tradition of mine to make presents that are much more complicated/time-consuming/difficult than they ought to be, and then to procrastinate, which usually means panicked Christmas Eve crafting and cursing. I always pull it out at the end, but there’s always that awful feeling of what if.

Not this year.

I can’t talk about it yet, or post pictures, because my family reads my blog, but trust me: IT RULES. Pics to follow after Christmas.

In the meantime, if you’re panicked and looking for something last-minute to knit, check out these patterns:

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pattern

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pattern

And if you’re really pressed for time:

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pattern

I made a tiny sweater once. It only took an afternoon, and came out really cute:
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You’ve got two full days to finish your shit. You got this.


Darken Up Your Christmas

It’s that time of year! Christmas music EVERYWHERE, glitter on everything, creepy life-sized Santa figures at the Chinese buffet…

Whether we like it or not, Christmas dominates the malls, the tv, and the radio. But thanks to Etsy, horror fans everywhere can at least make it a little more tolerable. Observe:

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Day of the Dead His and Hers Christmas Stocking

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Zombie Christmas Cards (Art by Robert Walker)

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Ho Ho With a Shotgun

(Click on item descriptions to visit their artists’ respective Etsy shops. I’m not affiliated with any of these sellers.)


Some Things Shouldn’t Be Easy.

Not sure what a “reborn” is? Have at it. Welcome to Uncanny Valley.

(photo via Urlybits.com)


FUN! Make This Squirrel Lamp

Well, I would like to make BIG PROFITS. And we do have a lot of squirrels around here…

(via Modern Mechanix, September 1933)


Why I Won’t Knit for Free

Lately I’ve been taking my knitting along to work with me. You know me and my fidgety fingers: if there’s spare time to be had, I’m using it.

I’ve sold some of my knitting in the past to coworkers and friends-of-friends. I knit for free for family, of course, but even then, depending on the project, I’ve been known not to get around to it for a really. Long. Time. I’m working on this blanket for my husband…at this point he’s wanted a blanket for three years.

Anyway.

One of my coworkers asked if I’d ever auctioned off any of my knitting. Oh no, I thought, here it comes.

“…because my nephew’s hockey team is looking for items to auction off…one lady’s mittens sold for sixty dollars!”

I never really know what to say in these situations. I’m not great at saying no. So what came out was something like, “No, I don’t knit unless it benefits me. Sorry,” which, while true, came out wrong and totally makes me sound like a bitch. Here’s what I meant:

I won’t knit for you for free because:

1. Knitting takes time. This is listed first for a reason. My time is valuable to me. I like to spend it in ways I enjoy, which, when it comes to (free) knitting, means at my own leisure and on projects of my choosing. Believe it or not, even someone speedy like The Yarn Harlot can take 16 hours or more to knit a single pair of socks. I can do a lot of other things in 16 hours.

2. Knitting costs money. True, I have the needles already. But if I’m making your project for free, I’ll need to supply yarn. I’ll either need to give up some of my stash, which cost me money, or go purchase new yarn, which will cost me money. Either way, I’d be paying to do you a favour. Not happening.

3. No one works for free. Do you know how much money those mittens would “cost”, in real-life terms, if I charged by the hour? Do you realize that I’d have to give up other things in my life to make the time to knit for you? Would you come over and make me 16 free dinners? Or wash 16 loads of my laundry for me? Why not?

4. It’s my hobby, and therefore it needs to benefit me. When I knit for myself, this is a no-brainer. I get to use the end product: wear the sweater, use the gloves to keep warm, revel in the luxury of perfectly-fitted socks. When I knit for family, in ways that’s even better: I take time to pick just the right project, and colour, and yarn. I sit and smile to myself, imagining the recipient enjoying whatever it is that I’m making. It makes me no money, but it’s incredibly rewarding. If I donate my knitting to a charity — which someday I’d like to — I’ll still feel the warmth of knowing I’ve kept a preemie’s head warm, or gotten a handmade bear to a child with cancer, or whatever.

When I’ve knit for paying customers, that glowing feeling is replaced with cold, hard cash. Still beneficial.

If I give you something to auction for a league sport, neither of these things happens. You could just as easily sell chocolate bars.

5. I plain don’t feel like it right now, which means forcing myself would make it feel like work, and we’ve established I don’t work for free.

This isn’t the first time this has come up since I taught myself to knit. It’s kind of strange, if you think about it: asking someone (oftentimes a mere acquaintance) to give up hours and hours of their time and some of their money, as if it’s something you’re entitled to. Sure, I enjoy my knitting, but I bet there’s lots of mechanics who enjoy their work, and I don’t see them giving away free engine overhauls.


The Bloggess’ Haunted Dollhouse

“…I’ve been slowly building a haunted dollhouse for the last eleven years.

…It’s filled with references to horror/fantasy books and movies that made me the possibly-twisted person I am today…”

Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, is building herself a tiny haunted house. She turns to the tinkering to escape: “This year, however, I’ve been fighting off a bit of depression (which is exactly why I love to make tiny bottles of bezoars or miniature Victorian vampire killing kits, so I can escape from reality when I need to)…” (source)

Fantastic! The tiny Tarot cards melt my heart.

See the rest of the house, including an exterior shot, here.

PS – If you’ve never read The Bloggess, you should probably drop everything you’re presently doing and go there immediately. She’s by far one of my absolute favourite bloggers: try Copernicus or Beyonce the big metal chicken for a good intro.

PPS – This is what a bezoar is. See? Genius.


Today Looks Like This.


The Mariah sweater in progress. What I’ve cleverly disguised is that I have less than one half of one sleeve done. Instead, gaze upon my (limited) productivity!
It’s going to be a cold Autumn wearing what amounts to a washcloth.


Then I came downstairs and stumbled on this scene. At first I was touched to see the cats actually enjoying a nap together. But look closer — Zoey’s tail has formed a careful buffer zone around Jadie. I got a sour look for catching them almost touching. They mutually disgust one another.

I haven’t opened any windows or blinds yet today, and the house is chilly from last night. I’m going to hang out under a blanket, knitting and watching online documentaries for the rest of the day.

What’s your day like today?


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